So lets see now, no shoes, no liquids, no tweezers and now no hand holding. So next it will be any signs of affection like hugging and kissing? They figure that if you have to hold someones hand you must be drunk and they want to make it easier to identify you.

Article

The TSA announced today that adults will not be allowed to hold hands while on airport property. The stated mission behind the edict is to “identify intoxicated individuals by observing their ability to navigate the concourse on their own before they board a flight”. The TSA spokesperson added that parents holding children’s hands will still be acceptable within reason.

Reminds me of a joke:

One night, a police officer was stalking out a particularly rowdy biker bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws.

At closing time, he saw one of the bikers stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, & try his keys on five different bikes before he found his. Then, sat on the bike fumbling around several minutes, looking as if he might pass out right there. Everyone left the bar and rode off.

Finally, he started his engine and began to pull away. The police officer was waiting for him. He stopped the biker, read him his rights and administered the Breathalyzer test. The results showed a reading of 0.0.

The puzzled officer demanded to know how that could be. The biker replied, “Tonight, I’m the Designated Decoy.”

Maybe we should all stumble through the concourse…

UPDATE: Ah yup it’s an Aprils fool joke but you know, I wouldn’t put it past the TSA to actually consider something like this…